I love jokes. In fact, at my memorial service, I want someone to give me a 21-joke salute.
I especially love quick-hitting jokes. The cornier the better.
Here are 15 quick-hitters, all with a Christian theme (Note: Not responsible for snorting, laughing so hard you cry or milk coming out of your nose):
1: When a woman decided to send the old family Bible to her brother, the postal worker asked her if there was anything breakable inside. “Only the Ten Commandments,” she replied.
2: A 25-year-old’s favorite song: “It is Well With My Soul.” A 75-year-old’s favorite: “It Is Well With My Soul, But My Knees Hurt, And My Back, And My Fingers …”
3: When Adam’s children asked why they didn’t live in the Garden of Eden anymore, he replied, “Your mother ate us out of house and home.”
4: Moses was the biggest sinner in the Bible: He broke all 10 commandments at once.
5: Noah was a great investor because he was floating all his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
6: We say “Amen” instead of “Awomen” for the same reason we sing Hymns instead of Hers.
7: After creating Adam, God stepped back and said, “I think I can do better.”
8: God does not believe in atheists, therefore they do not exist.
9: Did Noah include termites on the ark?
10: Give a man a fish and you’ll feed him for a day; give him religion and he’ll starve to death while praying for a fish.
11: Preacher: “The good news, we have enough money to pay for our new building. The bad news, it’s still in your pockets.”
12: Best pickup line for men: “Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.”
13: When the visiting preacher’s hat came back empty, he looked out at the congregation and said, “Thank you, Lord, at least they gave me my hat back!”
14: Best reason to join the choir: If you’re out of clean clothes the robe saves on laundry.
15: Best way to recognize the deeply religious: They think God’s presence is strongest in the back pew.
Bonus: There’s more women than men in churches because they identify with Jesus perfectly: Even after He died He had to get up because there was work to do.
Website on which some of these jokes were found: